Christian Teen Dating: Should I Date or Not?
Teenage dating seems like driving on a roller coaster, like having a fun ride. It’s all glitter and all that. You know what I am talking about . At some point in time, you’ve had some sort of feelings for someone, probably you still do now. You’re not wierd, it’s actually a sign you are human. It’s just as normal, even for christian teens. So are these feelings enough reason to justify christian teen dating? What’s the big deal about dating as a christian teenager?
I had a chat with a friend some times ago about what happened to my relationship and my view about christian teen dating right now, after he posted about the relationship he had a year ago on his Whatsapp status. Well, I remember getting fascinated about the way their love story spiked up. I must tell you, it’s really cool and they really loved each other. Yeah, I know you have that question in your mind. What happened? Mind you, we are both teenagers, I’m talking about my friend and I. I have a similar experience with my friend. Mine happened not quite long. You really want me to go into story telling? Well, it is a similar case with my friend’s.
So, I decided to make a write-up on christian teen dating. What is your take about christian teen dating? I really don’t have anything against Christian teen dating. Christian teen relationship, with the little experience I have on it, it has pros and cons
Probably before we go really deep into what I have in stock for you on christian teen dating, let’s see the world’s general view about dating.
What Does Dating Mean Generally?
I checked Wikipedia up, this is what it says about dating “dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It is a form of courtship, consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others”
I want you to take note of some words over there in the definition.
- Assessment of each other suitability.
- It’s in prospect of marriage
Well, I decided to check my dictionary app too, it’s saying nearly the same thing with Wikipedia. Dating is form of romantic courtship typically between two individuals with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
You see, assessment of suitability for marriage still appears in this definition.
So let’s go see what God says about Christian teenage relationship or christian teen dating.
What Does God Say About Christian Teen Dating?
What’s God saying about christian teen dating? Is having a boyfriend or girlfriend a sin in christianity?
We all know the Bible didn’t speak of anything specific about dating, not to say christian teen dating. But we are christians with the Spirit of God, so we can get to know the mind of God on it.
Dating is just like going out to the store to get some things. You really don’t know what to get, you just kept on checking and you picked the one that caught your eye. That’s how some christian teen dating looks like.
As much as I want to shy away from answering either dating is a sin or not, I need to. Dating itself is not a sin, it’s no sin. You go to the restaurant, took your seat and got yourself some food. That’s cool, you know. But if you go to the restaurant, asked for hot drinks or alcohol, then you started smoking. That’s so not good at all. That’s just to explain my point though. Who knows, probably smoking cigarettes are not allowed in restaurants.
You see, God has a big plan in stock for you for the future. Yeah, I know you really want to steal a look into that plan. Just chill man!
While the world believes in testing themselves out to reach a decision to marriage, God’s saying “Oh boy! Take it easy, I have a better plan for you”
Assessment of suitability may be spending nights together. Probably when the relationship gets so bad, the couple dumps themselves and then go for another individual. This continues in chains till there’s an urge to stay with one of those already tried.
That’s not what God has in stock for us, He’s being specific. He knows what you want, He’ll give you the certain best.
Read also: Ways To Get Rid of Inferiority Complex
Can a christian teenager date?
There have been questions flying around. Can a christian teenager have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Should teenagers be allowed to date? Can I date as a Christian teenager?
The answer is dependent on many factors which I’ll disclose in the next outline. Well, if you live in the part of the world I am living, here in Nigeria. You’ll agree with me that some parents will totally not allow their teenagers to date either for religious beliefs, mindset or cultural belief. So, it’s no good having a relationship or dating when your parents won’t consent.
I’ll just state some important reasons why you should date or not date as a christian teenager. So it will be left to you to make your choice.
Why a Christian Teenager Should Date or Not?
I want you to open up your mind here. Probably you have been in a relationship before now, use these things I’ll be talking about to judge if it’s justifiable. Perhaps you are planning to go into a relationship as a teenager, use these things as checks.
Motive: Marriage or not?
I know you feel real awkward right now. Are you just dating that girl? You really don’t have the future in mind? That’s rough, it’s like running without a target. Many Christian teen dating actually got no direction of their relationship.
Your reason of dating should be solely because you see a future with that individual. Well, that doesn’t mean you get married to the person you date. Sometimes walking out of a relationship maybe the best, not because you didn’t have marriage in mind, that’s by the way.
Teenage marriages are getting pronounced these days, so it may just be you not thinking of marriage. So check, what’s your motive of dating?
Some christian teens dating date just to have fun, some even have a shady motive like having sex. Remember the Word of God tells us about sexual purity. If fun or sex is your motive to date, you are on a wrong path. You want to catch fun? go find something doing.
Having sex hiding under the shadow of dating is a scam, don’t be deceived. It’s simply called fornication
Are you doing it because your friends are pestering you? Or because you are pressurized to do so because your friends are doing it too. If so, I think you should change your friends.
Definition of Love:
What’s your definition of love? Do you just see love as a feeling? Well, you maybe wrong or right. Love may get to start with some sort of feeling, yeah I understand. I’ve fallen in love too, quite a number of times. Love doesn’t go on and on with that sweet feeling. Love is more than just a feeling.
You’ve heard about infatuation right? You are sure you are not infatuating? Many christian teen dating just go straight to orchestrate a relationship once they have some sort of feeling they may refer to as love.
Commitment and readiness:
This is the biggest factor you should check out! Are you ready to be committed to someone at this time? To be candid, how many out of the christian teens dating out there, are ready to for commitment?
What is the essence of you getting into a relationship when you know you are getting married in nothing less than 8 years to come? It’s kinda dangerous. You know what the Bible tells us about sexual purity. So you should make that a priority.
Though, I’ve heard of some individuals who had a long-term relationship right from teenage and got married. Yeah, those cases exist, but you know it’s more like non-existing. Are you ready for a level of commitment like that? You should be realistic with yourself.
Apart from being ready for marriage, there is this pressure that comes with being in a relationship. Are you ready for that?
Someone I can refer to as my mentor told me relationships come with pressure most times. She told me I should get mature for that first. But I wouldn’t listen, I actually learnt by experience.
Are you ready in emotional maturity? Are you ready to shoulder those pressure that may drop on you?
You don’t go buying something in the mall without having anything in mind to buy, right? You must have a picture of what you want in your mind or know it before you go get it.
Time and Season:
The teenage years are not years to play around with. They are years to equip your arsenal for God’s use. It’s for self discovery, a time to know who you really are! Time to discover your purpose!
Check: How To Discover Your Purpose
Years to find God, and chase Him with the whole of your heart. Your adulthood will be a manifestation of what you built up in yourself through out your teenage years.
Have you found God? Have you found yourself? What about your purpose?
You’re still doing that, right? Hope you know chasing two things at a time can make you lose both? Especially when it’s not inclined.
I can’t afford not to talk about this. As much you really want to date, you really need to tarry and know what God wants for you.
Check: How to build a relationship with God
What’s God saying to you about it? Sometimes, our emotions can play on us. So you really have to be careful.
Check: How To Hear God Speak
Your decision has a lot to do with the future, carefully decide.