You had sex before marriage with your partner or probably just casual sex. Perhaps you were determined to abstain from sex till marriage.
And now it feels like a rough place, where you doubt if God will forgive you, and ask yourself, “will God forgive me?”. You probably feel all guilty about it, even asking for forgiveness from God. Or you have fears that God has not forgiven you. I want you to know that God forgives.
Will God Forgive Me for Having Sex Before Marriage?
This is me telling you clearly that God is able to forgive you.
Yes, God hates fornication, but He does not hate you – He loves you so much. He doesn’t want you wallowing in that guilt that doesn’t produce repentance. He wants you to receive His forgiveness.
He is ready to forgive you. Repent of this sin – when we talk of repent, it simply means to have a change of mind on a particular thing. Psalms 86 verse 5 says, “You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call you.”
If you believe in the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ to set us free from the power of sin and reconcile us back to God, not only have you received forgiveness of past sins, you can also go boldly to the throne of grace of God to obtain mercy and grace in time of need.
1st John 2:1 says, “My little children, I am writing you these things so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father – Jesus Christ the Righteous One.
Our advocate is our savior Jesus Christ!
1st John 1, verses 9 and 10, says, “if we acknowledge our sins, then, since he is trustworthy and just, He will forgive them and purify us from all wrongdoing.”
So, you see now? Go to God, acknowledge your sins, and ask God for forgiveness. Not only will He forgive you, but He will also purify and cleanse you from your sins.
Don’t Allow the Devil to Keep You Stuck With Guilt.
To a certain extent, I’m sure that you are here asking about this because you feel guilty about this sinful act. You might have even asked God for forgiveness and promised Him you’d not do it anymore.
Yet, the fear that God may not have forgiven you is eating up your mind.
Or it might even be that it is bugging your mind that God will not forgive you even after you ask for forgiveness.
First, be sure that this fear is not of God.
Why am I sure? This fear and guilt do one thing, they make you stay away from the presence of God.
This always comes with feeling unworthy of God’s forgiveness. God will not orchestrate something that will shut you out from him.
The bible talks about a godly sorrow that yields repentance. The right thing that should be produced is repentance from the sin you fell into after that sorrow. Not guilt that will keep you away from God.
2nd Corinthians 7:10 says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
And remember that you can only be helped by God when you go to God and surrender to Him. So, if you wallow in guilt and stay back from God, you might keep falling back to this sin of fornication. This is sure not the will of God for any believer.
I know you have fallen into sin, don’t stall, repent and ask God for the forgiveness and healing you need. Don’t allow that sin to cause a bridge in between your relationship with God – Go to God for healing.
And if you have already asked God for forgiveness, trust the word of God that says God is just to forgive when we come to Him. Accept the forgiveness of God, and forgive yourself too.
To overcome this, you have to meditate on the word of God as regards the forgiveness of your sins. Read and meditate on them. It helps you to receive the forgiveness of God.
How to Stop Having Sex before Marriage
Probably this did not just happen once between you and your partner, or it is turning into an addiction for you. Don’t be afraid that you might find yourself going in cycles. Jesus gives us grace that enables us to live above sins.
- Don’t be isolated
What do I mean by “don’t be isolated?” Many Christians try to fight their battles alone in the dark. They do not open to their brothers and sisters in the Lord.
It would help if you understood that telling one or two Christians you know is not to put you to shame. Not at all. They can help you with prayers, counsel, encouragement, and accountability.
One of the first things you should do is tell a believer you trust, preferably your pastor or your spiritual mentor, if you have one.
- Light up!
Most often, when we struggle with sin, it is because we are lacking in our relationship with God is lacking, and we are not renewing our minds with the word of God.
So when I say light up, I mean take your relationship with God seriously. He wants to fellowship with you. That is the best thing – an intimate relationship with God.
Study the word of God. Renew your mind daily with the scriptures. The more you do this; you are not just dying to the flesh; you will get more conscious of God and what He says about and to you.
Pray to God – communicate with Him every day. Imagine the distance you will feel with someone you only talk with once a month. Create a habit of praying daily.
Drown the voice of the flesh and walk in the Spirit. If you are not walking in the Spirit, you will find yourself giving yourself to the desires of the flesh.
Galatians 5:16 says, “so I say, walk by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
Walking in the Spirit – studying the word and praying literarily give you the enablement and power to exercise the authority and victory you have over sin in Jesus Christ.
- Create boundaries
If you have been having sex with the person you are in a relationship with, and this person is also interested in making things right, you both should talk about boundaries that will help you in your purity walk.
If they are adamant and not interested in repenting, It is okay to walk away from that relationship rather than keep going on and on in cycles.
Suppose you are not in a relationship but find ways to have sex from time to time and create boundaries for yourself. Find your triggers, and make appropriate boundaries around them. You probably live alone, and you entertain ladies in your apartment, even late into the night, and this is when you fall into this sin. One of your boundaries can be not entertaining any lady behind closed doors late into the night.
Get people to keep you accountable to these new boundaries. This will help you stay within these boundaries.
I hope and pray this content answers your question and blesses you. Stay blessed. Jesus Christ loves you.