I really get how it feels actually, when you leave your church, and it appears no one noticed not to even care. There were times I was intentionally absent from the church where I worshipped.
Then, I discovered that no one really actually bothered even though they noticed that I was absent from church. I was hurt about this and felt as if I didn’t belong there
It is definitely another level when no one notices, and I can imagine how it feels. That feeling that you are not seen in a place that is supposed to be a community that can give you some sense of belonging and safety.
This is what this blog post is all about, I want to discuss this, and I trust that you are going to find an answer after reading this.
I left My Church, and No One Noticed (Possible Reasons Why)
Now, it is one thing to decide to leave your church for another but I am sure that there are reasons to you leaving the church. But that is not exactly the focus here.
Let us check possible reasons why you left the church and no one noticed at all.
1. The church you worship does not operate as a community
I believe the church should exist as a community, and a community means a lot. This means that every individual input something to the growth of the church and the people in the church.
This means that Person A knows and cares for Person B (and vice versa) beyond that they just meet randomly in church. At this point, we can even call it a family.
Everyone should be able to find safety in the church but apparently, that is not the situation in many churches across the world.
The church in most places has become a place where people just come and go, as a ritual because they need to go to church. People are not getting involved in the life of other Christians in the church.
And honestly, there is so much strength and help to be drawn when you find a community of believers that are really a family. You will be safe with them because they will be willing to help and pray.
And receiving this will mean that you also will just want to care for others in the community, subconsciously.
So, it is possible that if you leave a church where there is no communal love (borne from the love of God), they will not notice, or notice and just not bother.
2. The church you worship is too large
If the church is too large and there are no micro-communal activities that bond people, it might be hard to notice when someone leaves the church.
Imagine a church that has a congregation of 500 people, there is definitely no way that everyone will know one another in the church.
So, it is kinda possible that you left the church and no one noticed because the church is that large.
3. You probably don’t relate with other Christians and are not so involved or participatory in the church
In a church with a large number of people, it is easy to be unnoticeable. So, you might need effort on your end.
Are you active in any of the departments or units in the church? Even if all the numerous congregations that don’t know are not aware of your absence, your church unit members should notice.
So, if you did not serve in any capacity or didn’t network/socialize/bond with other Christians in the church, it might be hard to notice that you left for anyone.
4. The prompt for leaving the church
I said earlier that it is possible that you left the church for some reason.
If there was some sort of misunderstanding, it might be hard for people to reach out even if they noticed that you left the church, because they would probably assume that the misunderstanding was the cause of your leaving.
In this case, they will most likely take note of the fact you are no more with them but won’t just reach out about it.
If this is really the case, and you feel offended by someone or some people in the church, you might feel bad that no one noticed that you left.
And if your case is not there was some sort of misunderstanding between you and someone in the church, you should check the other possible reasons I talked about.
I left My Church, No One Noticed (What to Do)
I understand how you feel not seen because of this, and it is probably giving you some ideas on what to do, but I want to implore that you do this regardless of how and what you feel.
1. excuses for them
It gets more challenging when the mind is trying to fill in the gap with random imagination. I want you to take control of that because you can.
So, dictate to your mind what you want it to think. Make excuses for the church. You can say they probably didn’t notice because of the population of the church.
Just try to make excuses for them, and release yourself from the feelings you are getting from not being seen or noticed.
2. Pray for God to help your heart
Even after making excuses for them, you might still be feeling whatnot about it all. Speak to God knowing that He is with you, and tell Him how you feel.
And you should try praying for the church as a whole.
3. Leave for another church or stay in the church
At this point, you have to decide if you really want to go back to the church or move on to another church. It is okay to change the church. You need to make that decision.
And I strongly believe this will be influenced by your reasons for leaving the church. There are a number of good reasons to leave a church, and they include false doctrine, church hurt (if unbearable to stay), etc
4. Get more committed and involved in the church
Serve in the church by joining a unit that needs the skills or gifts that you possess.
That way you will bond and have great moments with other believers, and the units in the churches are most often small in a way that makes it possible for everybody to relate and bond with one another.
That way, you will enjoy the power of community; you will find Christians who will become your close friends.
I left My Church, and No One Noticed (What Not to Do)
I understand how you feel not seen because of this, and it is probably giving you some ideas on what to do, but I want to implore that you NOT TO do this regardless of how and what you feel.
1. Don’t ditch church
Don’t ditch church as a whole because of the hurt. Like Pastor Iren would say, “Don’t ditch church, change church.”
As I pointed out earlier, it is okay if you want to change the church where you worship. But being a part of a church community is very important to your spiritual growth and your relationship with God.
2. Don’t let it affect your personal relationship with God
God loves all His children, everyone called by His name, who has put their faith in His Son – Jesus Christ.
Don’t let your experience with other Christians affect your relationship with God. God will work on them if they allow Him. And you too, don’t stay away from God because of these kinds of experiences.
Before you go…
I hope this has really blessed you, and you are directed on what to do next about how you feel about leaving church and no one noticing.
You can reach me via the WhatsApp button on the page if you need to ask more questions or just connect with me.
You can also send in your comments if this blessed you. Stay blessed.
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