You are most likely a young and unmarried Christian and have probably heard that you should flee youthful lust in Church.
But here you are feeling horny from time to time.
And it is making you guilty, you are wondering if it is okay.
Is being horny or getting aroused a sin? What is the difference between it and lust?
And you might think that you are the only one feeling like this.
I think before I go into giving answers to your question, I should say this.
Everyone gets or should get horny. Yes, I also get horny (of course, I am human like everyone).
Every other person you see around also gets h0rny or turned on.
Is It a Sin to Be Horny?
Being h0rny in itself is not a sin.
Being horny is having a desire for physical intimacy, which can also either or not be a result of a stimulus.
Being horny is also known as being turned on or being hard or being wet, depending on the gender.
Is Being Aroused or Arousal a Sin?
Being aroused is not in anyway a sin.
Being aroused is a physiological response of the body which comes, either or not as a result of a stimulus.
Does Everyone Get Horny or Aroused?
It might be hard to differentiate between being horny and aroused, because they overlap most of the time.
I think I need to make you clear on this, anyone of age should be horny to some extent per time, and feel arousal. It is physiologically normal.
If you don’t feel any of this in any slightest form, I think one should be worried.
Being a Christian does not remove these urges, desires, and feelings.
Because indeed, it is a part of us, that needs expression – in the right confines.
Chill! Chill! Chill!
Before you run along, saying “oh yeah, that guy from that Christian blog said it ain’t bad.” Can you stay with me?
As much as being aroused or horny is in itself not a sin, I need to ask you, what is stirring it?
As much as arousal and h0rniness can be physiological, they can also be a response to a stimulus. The reasons might be the wrong ones.
Now, I will touch on possible reasons why people feel h0rny or feel aroused, to give this article a balanced view.
Knowing the reasons why you might be feeling horny or aroused might help you deal better with it.
Is Getting Wet a Sin?
Getting wet is not in itself a sin. There are different kinds of triggers to getting wet as a lady.
More About Getting Wet
This is for my Christian sisters. Let me explain some little biology for you.
It is normal for you to feel wet down there whenever you feel horny or aroused.
Whenever you are excited, there is blood flow to your private organ, and then you get wet.
This is a way the body kinda prepares itself for the do.
Now, this happens when one is excited s3xually.
You may feel wet when you are horny, or engaging in something intimate with your partner, and it can be hormones.
Getting wet is a physiological response. And it can be different from being horny.
When you are horny, you actually desire to get intimate with someone.
But you may be in a situation where you don’t desire to have s3x, and get aroused.
Have you wondered how it felt like for people who didn’t give consent to physical intimacy?
The fact that they don’t want it doesn’t mean their body will not respond to the activities, and get aroused. It is just the way their body works.
Now, you should not know that getting wet is not a sin in itself, but you need to know what is fuelling the wetness?
What Makes People Get Horny or Aroused?
There are different reasons why anyone can get h0rny or aroused. I will try to cover as many as possible.
All these reasons might not be the only reasons for being aroused or horny.
As I explained earlier, horniness and arousal are a little different, even though they overlap much.
So, just follow me keenly to be able to understand.
1. Being horny is very natural and arousal can be involuntary.
Yes, you saw that right.
Being horny is a part of you as a human being. You will naturally desire physical intimacy with opposite sex. It is part of your make up as a human being.
Being aroused might not necessarily be for a reason. It can be involuntary.
For guys, it is very much normal to experience arousal up to 5 times at midnight.
And you might have heard of morning wood – early morning arousal.
Having morning wood is normal, and it can be a sign of having a healthy reproductive system.
You will experience it often, especially when you are very young.
Also, it is possible to have random arousal – without any triggers, during the day.
This is because hormones, especially testosterone, fluctuate during the day.
For ladies, there are days during the menstrual cycle, just before ovulation when there are changes in horm0ne levels, thereby causing increased horniness.
These are physiologically normal, and you don’t need to be guilty about it.
2. Age can be a factor
In the late teens and 20s, being horny can really be a thing.
The specific age may differ for different people based on gender and body.
I was watching a video recently where a lady said there is a point in a woman’s life around her mid 20’s where it feels like she’s readily horny and aroused.
She is a lady, and I can take it from her, as the truth.
Personally, as a guy in his 20s, I can tell you that being horny is a real thing.
The urge is real, and I think everybody is wired that way.
Also, I was reading up on some articles recently where I learned that there is a phase called peri-menopause, a phase of transitioning to menopause that women experience.
Some women in this phase have claimed to have experienced a crazy increase in their libido (horniness).
3. Physical attraction
If you have a partner, especially if it is a new relationship, there is always this spark – a strong desire you have for them.
As a Christian dating couple, it is expected that nothing that should be done among relationship people should not be on the relationship table.
Nevertheless, this does not mean Christian dating couples don’t desire themselves.
Desiring your partner, is a real thing, and it is normal among dating couples.
You should actually be physically attracted to your partner.
So, if you are in this stage, know that it is physically and psychologically normal. This calls for boundaries and self-control.
4. What you see, hear, read or do.
As much as having urges, being horny, or being aroused can be natural and involuntary, they can also be triggered. It can be a response to a stimulus.
In a world where there are a lot of adult stuff, most especially in the online world.
Content filled with so much adult scenes is readily available everywhere on social media.
You can’t expect to feed your eyes with adult movies and think your body won’t respond by getting horny and aroused
I watched some movie series with adult scenes at some point.
And I’m pretty sensitive to visuals, this got me going down a lane I shouldn’t. It bred lust in my heart.
And sometimes, one doesn’t even have to look for adult movies
You might just be on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, and then boom, adult content shows up
I think this is more common with Twitter where it shows you content liked by people you are following, not just the content from people you are following.
Some adult stories or novels can evoke horniness and arousal.
Basically what you feed on matters a lot, in this.
And it feels like a battle we must be ready to fight every time, in a world like ours where adult stuff is heavily painted in movies, novels, songs, social media, etc.
Also, you cannot be so much physical contact with someone, doing heavily intimate activities, and expect to not be aroused or be horny. It is just normal.
It is more like you are preparing the body for physical intimacy. Your brain will receive the signals, and get you in the mood.
How to Deal with Horniness as a Christian?
The problem might not necessarily be having urges or being horny.
Our body is wired to be horny, it is an healthy desire.
The desire might come off as strong in some particular phase of our living.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are just being human, showing signs of good health.
And no, these things ain’t like a switch that you can turn off when you are not married, and then turn on when you are married (laughs). That is what some Christians make it look like.
Probably some people have made you feel like you should not be feeling how you feel.
I am sorry to say they are wrong. You are not alone in this.
It is about how you deal with it, knowing that you are committed to having physical intimacy only in the confine of marriage.
And I am guessing that you are yet to get married, hence the question, “how to deal with being horny as a Christian?”
Dealing with being horny can be hard, but it is not impossible as we have the Spirit of God who gives us the ability to control ourselves. How can we deal with horniness as a Christian?
1. Walk in the Spirit
Actively engage the Holyspirit, study the Bible, pray in the Holy Spirit, and fellowship with other believers.
This is one sure way to help you keep your desires in check.
See what Apostle Paul said in Galatians 5:16, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.
2. Don’t trigger the desires
Don’t feed on the content or do things that can stir those desires.
And you have to be intentional about making your social media space clean.
Block out people who post adult content.
Follow people who post healthy and godly content that can help you in any way.
Don’t engage in conversations that can aid the desire.
You should guard the content you feed on, like movies, songs, novels, etc.
This is where you will need to be proactive.
At some points, I had to start muting some people on Twitter once they popped up on my feed.
This is because of the content they post.
If you are in a relationship, don’t engage in activities that will make waiting till marriage harder.
3. Focus on something else when you feel the desire
You can engage in any activity that can take up your focus and attention, helping you to subside your desires.
If you feel aroused, paying attention to it might make it hard to deal with.
And also when the desires come or when one feels aroused, it is actually like one can’t even focus on another thing.
It might seem a little hard to shift focus, but with practice and time doing it, it gets easier.
To be able to do this, you should do activities that can take up all of your attention.
It might be reading the bible, or a book for you, and it might be something else.
4. Talk to someone
If you feel like this is a struggle for you, you can have an accountability partner who you can always talk to when you feel these things.
This will help you to keep yourself in check.
I know it can be harder to find someone to who one can be vulnerable, many times.
Especially at our young age, not knowing who’d make us feel bad for what we feel.
Or actually, give us the help we need.
You can decide to join a community of believers, where you constantly talk about God and the things of God.
It might be an online Christian group or a youth group offline.
It is a good place to find people who could help.
And when you are talking to someone about these things, ensure that it is someone of the same gender as you.
5. Ask the Holy Spirit for help
I can’t but emphasize this.
You can just say a simple prayer, like “Holy Spirit, I feel so horny right now.
And I feel like acting on it, but I know I should not. Help me, please.”
This may feel a little somehow. Like, “you want me to talk to God about me feeling horny?”
Most often than not, we are not taught to call God for help in cases like this.
And as a matter of fact, who is more fit to help if not the One who created us, and gave us these desires we feel?
Of course, He can help us with self-control.
Holy Spirit is our help, and we must cultivate the habit of leaning on him for help, even when we feel h0rny.
5. Don’t turn to helping yourself out
I know the subject of helping yourself out is a debate among many believers.
But beyond the debate on whether it is a sin or not, I’d strongly advise that you do not turn to easing yourself, as this can lead to addiction.
Yeah, it might seem to make some sense to do it on the spot, but in the long run, it will make you have a higher drive.
You will feel hornier on the long run – you won’t find it easy to stop if you give in. So, don’t give in at all.
Then, you will turn to it again, and again, till it becomes a cycle and addiction.
And most importantly, you are giving room for lust, which you should not.
And if you have indulged already, repent, God forgives. Draw close to God in fellowship
Lust vs Horny: The Difference between Lust and Being Horny?
I know that this question might bug you, “can these desires transcend to lust? What is the difference between being horny and lusting?”
Some Christians think that what Jesus talked about lusting was only about looking at a woman.
No, it is not just about thinking about physical intimacy.
At some point in your life, the thoughts might pop up in your mind more than you want.
I am not even ashamed to say that the thoughts pop up in my mind.
And yeah, it will continue to pop up. This might be because of the desires that comes with me being youthful.
Now, you must keep these thoughts in check.
Subject them to the word of God. Because if you think about them, you may end up giving room for lust.
Once those thoughts pop up in your mind, just show them the way out.
Lust most often has thoughts strung along, but thinking about adult stuff does not equate to lust directly.
Yeah, I know it is getting pretty confusing. I will explain.
If lusting is not exactly about that, then what is lust?
First let me dissect the words of Jesus where He talked about it in the Bible, for us to understand it better.
Matthew 5:27-28 says, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘you shall not commit adultery’. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Now, this is not only about looking at a man or woman, it is about the intention of the heart.
I hate to bore you with a lot of Greek and Hebrew root words in the Bible.
But we need to understand this, to save ourselves from false guilt. I will try to make this as simple as possible.
This is a whole study on its own, but I’m going to try to keep it as simple as possible.
The root Greek word that was translated to “lust after” is “epithumeo,” which is equal in meaning to the Hebrew word that was translated to “covet” in Exodus 20:17.
A part of Exodus 20:17 says, “… Thou shalt not covet your neighbor’s wife…”
It felt like Jesus was re-emphasizing this commandment, in Matthew 5:27-28. You can try to look up the two verses.
With this background I gave, let me make these points.
Lust constitutes of
- will/intention of the heart
- and the wrong confine.
Will or the Intention of the Heart.
If you read the explanation I gave above, then this will be easy to understand.
Lusting is not just about looking at a woman. It is not just about desiring to be physical with someone.
It is more of the state of the heart plus the confine, for desiring those things.
Lust is a desire to obtain something that you are not meant to have.
It is the will or intention in the heart to seek out what you are not meant to.
At that point when you in your heart decide to seek out what you are not meant to, that is lust.
Sins happen in the heart, before the action takes place, at all.
Let us be a little practical.
You are a man, and you are at a place where a really attractive lady comes in.
The truth is, you most likely will notice the lady.
To make matter worse, if she dresses so indecently, she might appeal to you, even though you hate the fact that she dressed so indecently.
Are you lusting at that point?
Or as a lady, if you see a well-built man in tank tops coming to the same space you are, you are more likely to look.
Or you might even be attracted at that point. And they might seem appealing.
Does that mean you are lusting?
As much as these things might not directly mean lust, it is also important for you to also be careful at this point, and put these things in check.
The point is that the intention and state of the heart in this situation is what will matter.
When Jesus talked about looking, the intention of the heart and the purpose of the look is the real deal that matters.
Besides the intention of the heart, the wrong confine also defines lust.
What if the lady is not married, not engaged, or not in a relationship and she caught your eye?
And you decided to pursue her? Would it still be lust at that point of sight?
Of course not, most of the time, a beautiful relationship can start with a man admiring and getting attracted to the beauty of a lady.
What if you are married, and you see your wife, and you are like, “whoof! She’s hot!”
And you desire to have her, would it be lust?
Of course, it is not lust. You can desire your wife. You should desire your wife in that way.
I don’t know if this has happened to you before. You get to meet a far-away cousin, and you are like “whoof, she fine! Oh, man!”
But then it is not more than that because she’s your cousin!
That is a wrong confine, you know this, and you don’t seek to pursue it in your heart.
So, it stays and dies at that.
I hope you are getting the point I am making with the context of wrong confines.
I said all of these to say this, “lust is a desire with intention in your heart to seek out that which you are not meant to seek.”
If horniness or arousal is not handled well, it can lead to lust.
Let us look at James 1:14-15, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn by his own desires and enticed. Then when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin…”
If you feed your desires with things that can aid it, you will find out that your heart will yield to lust at a point.
So, be careful what you feed on. What you watch. What you read.
What you discuss. Situations you place yourself. What you listen to. Be careful of them all.
Is Being Horny or Aroused a Sin – A Recap
Allow Holy Spirit to take control. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit.
Holy Spirit can help you be self-controlled.
I hope this blog post helps you a lot with the question, “is being horny or aroused a sin?”
You can drop comments in the comment section; I will be waiting to hear from you.
If you have any questions, you can drop them in the comment section.
You are continually helped by God. Keep growing in God.
Here are other blog posts you can check out