Is Spooning or Cuddling Before Marriage a Sin? Can Christian Couples Cuddle?

Questions like, “Is cuddling or spooning before marriage a sin?

Can Christian couples cuddle” are part of the most asked questions among young Christians in dating relationships.

It is understandable because we are humans, and we crave intimacy.

Besides, the desire to cuddle your partner is very normal and sane.

It pretty much shows that you are a human, and you still got blood flowing through, and your emotions are pretty intact.

And that you really love and are physically attracted to your partner.

Is It a Sin to Cuddle Before Marriage? 

is cuddling a sin

One thing we all know that the Bible is big on is purity – enjoying and fulfilling the purpose of intimacy in the right confine which is marriage.

If it is out of the confines of marriage, it is against the will of God.

Knowing well that not waiting till marriage is not God’s will for us, questions like, “How far can we go before marriage? Can we cuddle?”

And many other questions pop us from many sides. I understand that our body are not making things easier too.

For this specific blog post, we are focusing on, “Is cuddling before marriage a sin? Can we cuddle as a Christian couple?”

It might be pretty hard to give a universal law, rule, or answer, as to whether cuddling is a sin or not.


Now, here is what I can do for you. I will give you a set of questions to ask yourself.

These questions will help you decide if it is something you should do or not.

All you just need to do is be true to yourself while answering the questions.

Questions to Ask Yourself to Know If You Can Cuddle as a Christian Before Marriage

The purpose of these questions is to drive you to a choice that will honour God in your relationship.

These questions are not in order of priority.

1.      What is the intent of your heart?

Do you have a strong conviction to wait till you marry?

Or somehow in your heart, you are wishing and hoping for an opportunity where you can just do some things with your partner? You know what I mean.

She said she is coming over to yours for a few hours, and you are already thinking of how you can do things with him/her.

Now, I must say that this is way different from being physically attracted to your partner – which is great.

You should be physically attracted to him/her. Of course, you might desire him/her.

But you will be sure of your state of heart that you want to honour the Lord, honour her and yourself by waiting till you both get married.

With a foul intent of the heart, cuddling will set you up to easily move on to those things that you already had in your heart and mind.


What if you think you have good intentions and you have solidly decided in your heart to wait till marriage?

Is that enough a safe condition to cuddle?

Don’t conclude yet. Check the next question.

2.      What is your past?

Self-control might be harder for those who were not celibate in the past before committing to abstinence till marriage.

If you are in this shoes, it will be wise to be proactive about boundaries while dating.

Even seemingly affectionate acts or forms of intimacy like cuddling might pose a danger.

3.      Will you be ashamed if your parents meet you cuddling?

So, I was reading up on a blog, and it was stated that this is a very important thing to consider.

How will you feel if your parents, pastor, or any of your family members meet you cuddled up with your partner?

Will you feel ashamed as if it is a thing you should have not done at all?

Your answer to that might be a pointer to whether you should be doing it or not.

There is a balance. I know it might be weird loving up on your partner, around parents.

But this feeling of being ashamed is something different from feeling weird.


If you know you will feel utterly ashamed and guilty if they meet you in that position, it is just advisable to desist from it.

4.      Will your conscience be hurt?

In a way, I strongly feel that for you to have this question bugging your mind, you most likely are doing it already and feel guilty about it.

You might probably be here to justify if it is a sin or not.

It’s not really about “is this a sin or not.”

It should be, “Is this really okay for me? Will it draw me away from God? Will it lead me to do things God doesn’t want? Is it really expedient?”

If you know your conscience is feeling hurt by it, it is advisable to stay away from it.

Keeping a clean and clear conscience toward God is very important.

5.      Is cuddling a trigger for you?

A trigger is an event or situation that can cause someone to do something.

If this act propels you to act in any improper way towards your partner, it is not advisable.

Now, if you have not been cuddling before, it might be hard to judge if it will be a trigger for you.

Evaluate using other questions, and answer yourself if it is a wise thing to do in your case.

What If My Partner Feels Cuddles Before Marriage is Harmless, while I Don’t Feel the Same?

There is this perspective where your partner might feel cuddling is a harmless means of showing affection.

It might be harmless for some people, but that doesn’t still rule out the fact that can pose a danger since you are not yet married

And this is not the same for you after evaluating yourself.

In fact, you think it might put you in danger of being tempted. It might not be easy, but here is my advice for you.

  • Communicate with your partner.

The first step you need to take is to tell them what you think.

The way you tell them is as important as what you are telling them.

Communicate how you feel to them gently and make them understand.

This is important because if you are tempted, and you make a move on them, they might also be tempted in return.

If they are also really keen on purity, and you let them know, they will consider you and compromise on what they think.

This is geared towards the best interest of the relationship – honouring God.

  • Assure them of your love.

It is possible that some people just find cuddling an affectionate thing to do, without attaching meaning to it.

But this is about the two of you, and the act is not okay for one of you. It might feel strange for the other party.

You need to effectively communicate your love to them and reassure them that you love them wholeheartedly.

Let them know that you are not trying to deny them of showing them love or being affectionate towards them in a way they find okay.

Let them know this immediately after you tell them how cuddling me you feel uncomfortable and how it can lead to things you don’t intend to do. This will help the relationship.

  • Remind them of your priorities

I believe the priority of every believer in a relationship or marriage is honouring God.

Remind them that the point is to honour God.

If your partner is on the same page with you on honouring God, this should not be in any way close to being a deal breaker for them.

What About Spooning? Is Spooning a Sin?

There are no spelt out words saying spooning is a sin in the Bible but I strongly advise against spooning because it can spur you to sin.

Spooning is a form of cuddling, and it engages a lot more contact than average cuddling.

If you are really up for making it easy to wait till marriage, I strongly believe spooning should be out of your to-do for you as a dating couple.

Is Caressing a Sin?

As much as caressing can be a simple show of affection, it can also go way beyond that.

In all, be moderate and always remember that you are meant to live a pure life.

How to Not Make Waiting Till Marriage Harder

It takes a lot to be disciplined in your relations with your partner.

You are both on a journey of abstinence till marriage, but the fact that you are physically attracted to each other – which is a good thing, makes it a tough call.

That is why I had to create this section, “How to make waiting till marriage not hard.”

  • Be accountable

Let your spiritual mentors or pastors, friends, and family members know about the relationship, and be involved in it.

This helps keep you both in check, in your dealings with each other.

  • Have Boundaries

Create boundaries that will help you be able to forge on in the waiting till marriage.

You’ll have to discuss this with your partner to agree on boundaries.

An example of a boundary could be no sleepover and nothing like visiting each other anything past 7 PM. These are just examples.

  • Focus on important things

You should spend time focusing on important things like your individual relationship with God.

You can spend time praying and studying God’s word together.

Sharing your vision, plans, past, career, etc can be a way of building emotional intimacy.

  • Just get married.

Honestly, waiting can be hard. By all means, if you can, and there is not reason to wait, get married to your partner.

And just enjoy the bliss of each other wihout having to worry about all of these.

What Does the Bible Say About Cuddling?

The Bible did not give clear cut instructions when it comes to activities like cuddling, but we can glean wisdom from the scripture and the Spirit of God.

2 Timothy 2:22

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

1 Thessalonian 5:22

Abstain from all appearance of evil.

One way we can show that we lean on God for help is not putting ourselves at the risk of what we are avoiding

FAQs on “Is Cuddling Before a Sin?” and “Is it Okay for Christians to Cuddle?”

Here are popularly asked questions surrounding the issue of cuddling and spooning among Christians:

Is It a Sin to Cuddle or Spoon in the Bible?

The Bible does not fully spell out that cuddling or spooning is a sin.

But wisdom does not advise, as it may be the beginning of a journey into a place further than you bargained for.

Is Cuddling Allowed in the Bible?

As I said earlier, the Bible gives no specific instruction concerning matters like cuddling or spooning.

But we do have the wisdom of the Holy Ghost to teach us all things.

Is It Okay for Christians to Cuddle?

Sometimes, the question should not be about it being okay.

I think you should consider how easily this act will bring you closer to struggling with not violating your purity as a couple in a relationship.

Is Cuddling Before Marriage a Sin? Can Christian Couples Cuddle? – A Recap

I hope this really helped you, and I hope you have your answers to the question, “Is cuddling or spooning before marriage a sin?”

I pray that your personal and relationship life gives glory to the Lord always.

You can send in your comments on this blog post. Stay blessed. 

Other blog posts you can check out:


Victor Loore
Victor Loore


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