Is Dry Humping or Fingering a Sin? All You Need to Know

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Have you been indulging in fingerings, dry sex or dry humping sessions (also called outercourse) with your dating partner as a Christian because you couldn’t hold up with the s3xual desire? And you are feeling guilty, and you want to know if it is really a sin?

Or you are considering it because it seems like you can’t hold up with s3xual abstinence till marriage?

And you are wondering if it is a sin to finger or dry hump your partner? Or wondering if it is okay to have dry sex as a Christian? Is fingering my girlfriend a sin?

Perhaps you are married, and you are wondering if it is a thing that should be considered to spice up your marriage s3xually?

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Is Dry Sex, Dry Humping or Fingering a Sin When in a Relationship?

I perfectly understand how hard it can seem to be when practicing s3xual abstinence till marriage in a Christian dating relationship.

But finding alternatives like outercourse or doing everything besides penetration is not the answer.

There is so much more to s3xual purity, than not penetrating or breaking the hymen.

It is not okay to finger or dry hump or have outercourse with your partner to satisfy yourself and your partner, while dating.

It is s3xually impure, as the standard still remain sexual purity which means practicing s3x and its surrounding activity in the right confines – marriage.

So, fingering or dry-humping might not be in itself a sin if it is done in the right confines, which is marriage.

But if you are unmarried, practicing dry humping, fingering or having outercourse is not okay as a Christian trying to abstain from s3x till marriage.

Let me help you with reasons why it is not okay by any means to do these things while in any relationship.

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Reasons Why You Should not Finger, Dry Hump or Have Outercourse or Dry Sex Your Dating Partner as a Christian

You might be wondering that since the Bible wasn’t clear about them, why not just do them.

Yes, the Bible didn’t exactly say, “don’t dry hump or finger” but there is wisdom of God through the Holy Spirit and His word to know what should be done, as Christians.

These are reasons why you should not consider fingering or dry humping in your dating relationship:

1. S3xual purity is not just about keeping the hymen intact

S3xual purity is not just about keeping the hymen intact. It is not doing everything but leaving out penetration.

S3xual purity is way more than all that. It starts first from a heart posture. A heart ready to enjoy s3x and s3xual activity only in the right confine as designed by God.

So, anything that looks is s3xual should be off the table till you walk down the aisle with your partner, which includes having dry sex, dry humping or fingering.

Fingering and dry humping is a very s3xual act. Fingering is stimulating your partner’s genitals, and they can orga$m in the process.

Dry humping is an outercourse process, which involves grinding one’s genitals against one’s partner’s body or genitals.

It is done mostly with clothes on. This can also give orga$m which is s3xual pleasure.

2. You are trying to find an alternative for s3x

The question is more like asking, “Since we can’t have s3x until marriage, how much can we get away with?”

And it is understandable, because of the s3xual attraction that exists between you and your partner. I really understand how hard it can be to hold up, but it is not impossible.

Trying to do everything besides s3x will eventually lead to doing it, eventually. This leads me to my next point.

3. You can’t just keep it at fingering or dry humping

It is easy to say, “We’ll just stop at doing this.” The more you break the boundaries, the farther you go. If one of your boundaries was to not kiss till you wed your partner, and you eventually did.

If you keep engaging in the process, the sexual desire would want you to take a step further. If indeed, you are keen on keeping yourself till marriage, don’t indulge in it.

4. The pleasure can keep you hooked

S3xual activities are for procreation and pleasure. The physiology and anatomy of s3xual organs shows that they are for great pleasure.

And if indeed God created s3x, that means He really wants us to enjoy s3xual activities but in the right confines – marriage.

Engaging in these acts can be addictive and get you hooked on doing it because of the pleasure that comes from it. And in the end, you might end up going all the way.

5. You don’t own each other’s body

You are not married to your partner yet. You don’t own your partner’s body; neither do they own your body in any sense.

So, till you both get married, you owe each other respect in that regard. And that’s by not handling each other inappropriately.

Until you are joined together in holy matrimony, don’t think you own their body and that you can satisfy each other.

Some dating couples don’t end up getting married due to reasons like genotype compatibility, toxicity, etc.

Imagine they both have had dry s3x, and been touched in ways that only their husbands or wife should. Don’t give marriage privileges to a boyfriend or girlfriend.

How to Stop Dry Humping or Fingering in a Christian relationship

If you’ve been indulging in these acts and been trying to find a way to stop, these steps I am about to list will really be helpful to you.

You and your dating partner should be repentant

You and your partner should be on the same page and be ready to have a change of mind on it. Be repentant, and ask God for forgiveness.

And that is simply what repentance is. Simply having a change of heart towards something, and following in that line.

It is important that you both are repentant about it. If it is just one party, it might be a hard one.

Agree to reality

The reality is that you both have s3xual desires and are sexually attracted towards each other.

The reality is that you both will be tempted to do s3xual things because of this s3xual desire and attraction.

Ask God for help

Since we have established the point I made earlier, it is only logical to know that it won’t be easy to pull this off on your own. Your flesh desires and craves this pleasure.

You need God to strengthen and help you through the journey. Now, it is important that you ask God for help on this matter.

Speak to God from the depths of your hearts concerning the matter. Let Him know how badly you want to really be s3xually intimate with your dating partner, and also how you would like to do His will. And that He should help you.

Set physical boundaries

Now that you have sought God for help, make sure you are not putting fire under your bosom.

Create a list of boundaries that you know will not fuel your desires to do the things you don’t want to do.

Have you noticed that you engage in these acts anytime you visit each other? You might probably need to heavily tone down seeing each other behind closed doors.

Observe what has been fueling these acts, and create a list of boundaries that can help you guys not indulge.

Don’t be idle as a dating couple

Engage in activities together like praying, studying the word of God, playing games, taking walks, watching movies out, eating out, going on dates with another couple, etc.

These activities will substitute the idle time that could be available to engage in things you would not want.

Take your personal relationship with God seriously

Ensure you are engaging and speaking with God daily through prayers, studying of the word of God, fellowshipping with others, and also reading Christian books.

God is interested in you, and He wants to have an intimate and deep relationship with you. Allow Him, by speaking with Him daily.

Doing all these will lessen and deaden the voice of the flesh, and make it easy to stand strong in the days of temptations.

Get accountability if possible

If you can, inform your parents or pastors or spiritual mentors in order to keep you accountable.

And it might also be your Christian friends. This will be very helpful for the both of you in the long run.

They will be intentional with keeping you in check. And both of you knowing that there are people who will be keeping you in check, you will be careful in your dealings.

Get married if you can

Now, this may sound weird. But just like Apostle Paul said, I will also say to you. If you know that this person is for you, and you are ready to be married, get married.

Instead of burning with desires, you can just get married since you actually can.

1 Corinthians 7:2 says, “nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have their own husband.”

Also, 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 says, “Now to the single people and the widows I say that it is fine if they remain unmarried like me; but if they can’t exercise self control, they should get married; because it is better to get married than to keep burning with s3xual desire.”

What If I am Married? Can I Finger or Dry-hump My Partner when Married?

Since you are both married, you both own each other’s bodies.

If you both desire to do that while trying to spice things up s3xually in your marriage, I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

Enjoy your marriage, brothers and sisters!

Reason to Keep S3x till Marriage as a Christian

I just feel the need to let you know why it is really important to know to keep s3x till marriage. Here are reasons why you should keep s3x till marriage:

1. Having s3x with someone means joining yourself to them

Having s3x with someone actually connotes or means becoming one body with them. Let us check 1 Corinthians 6:15-16.

“Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the scriptures say, “the two are united into one.”