Is Dry Humping or Fingering a Sin?

Have you tried to finger or dry hump (also called outercourse) your dating partner as a Christian because you couldn’t hold up with the desire?

And you are feeling guilty, and you want to know if it is really a sin?

Or you are considering it because it seems like you can’t hold up till marriage?

And you are wondering if it is a sin to finger or dry hump your partner?

Perhaps you are married, and you are wondering if it is a thing that should be considered to spice up your marriage?

Is Dry Humping or Fingering a Sin When in a Relationship?

Yes, dry humping or fingering is a sin.

I perfectly understand how hard it can seem to be when practicing abstinence till marriage in a Christian dating relationship.

But finding alternatives like outercourse or doing everything besides penetration is not the answer.

There is so much more to purity, than not penetrating or breaking the hymen.

It is not okay to finger or dry hump or have outercourse with your partner to satisfy yourself and your partner while dating.

It is impure, as the standard still remains purity which means practicing all forms of physical intimacy in the right confines – marriage.

So, fingering or dry-humping might not be in itself a sin if it is done in the right confines, which is marriage. 

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But if you are unmarried, practicing dry humping, fingering or having outercourse is not okay as a Christian trying to abstain till marriage.

Let me help you with reasons why it is not okay by any means to do these things while in any relationship.

Is Getting Fingered a Sin?

Yes, getting fingered is a sin.

This is not different from the question, “is fingering a sin?”

The only difference is that one individual is on the receiving end while the other is on the giving end.

Let me give an analogy.

Indulging in these acts is like the case of children who has been instructed by their mother not to touch the yam porridge she left.

They want to adhere to her instructions but are tempted to taste the porridge because they know the porridge made y their mother is always delicious.

So, in a bid to be able to say “no, we didn’t touch the porridge” when their mother asks, they only scraped the pot in an unnoticeable manner and had a taste of the porridge.

They definitely didn’t listen to their mother’s instruction.

And one thing the children didn’t realize is that, their mother might eventually give them out of the porridge.

So, they could have just calmed down and wait till their mother came back, and tell her they really want to eat the porridge.

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We all know that as Christian, physical intimacy is reserved for the confines of the marriage.

The sincere truth is, you will have the leisure to be all yourself with your husband or wife, as much as you want.

But now that you are yet to get married. Hold on, ask God for help, and keep necessary boundaries.

Is Fingering Your Girlfriend a Sin?

Yes, fingering your girlfriend is a sin.

If you love and honor God, and also respect your girlfriend, you should wait and abstain till you get married to her.

You will even have the liberty when married, knowing that you are doing the right thing.

Doing the right thing gives some sort of peace in a way. You won’t have to worry about by the guilt of wrongs.

Is Fingering Yourself a Sin?

Fingering yourself is a sin. Even though there’s no specific reference in the Bible to it, but you must understand that purity starts from the heart.

You should not help yourself. Probably you are feeling so much desires, and it feels like you can not hold yourself.

First way out is to ask God for help. Then, keep fellowshipping with God in prayers, studying of Bible, and fellowshipping with other Christians.

Then abstain from watching or reading things that can stir up the desires

And also you will need a lot of discipline, because the sincere truth is, you will still feel some sort of desires at some point in time.

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You must know that you have the will power by the grace of God to say no.

Is Pillow Humping a Sin?

Pillow humping, is a means of helping yourself, and it is a sin.

Even though there’s no specific reference in the Bible to it, but you must understand that purity starts from the heart.

Helping yourself will only turn this into a cycle, where you will struggle.

Probably you’re struggling with this already. You need the help of the Holy Spirit.

One thing is sure, God’s presence can kill any form of addiction.

So, ensure you are consistently praying to God, studying the Bible, and fellowshipping with other believers.

What Does the Bible Say About Fingering?

There are no exact Bible verses about fingering but there are Bible verses we can draw wisdom from.

1 Corinthian 6:13b

“The body, however, is not meant for immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

This says that our body is for the Lord, and we must be conscious of that, and really act knowing God owns our body.

Corinthians 6:18

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

Colossians 3:5

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

Reasons Why You Should not Finger, Dry Hump or Have Outercourse With Your Dating Partner as a Christian

You might be wondering that since the Bible wasn’t clear about them, why not just do them?

Yes, the Bible didn’t exactly say, “Don’t dry hump or finger” but there is the wisdom of God through the Holy Spirit and His word to know what should be done, as Christians. 

These are reasons why you should not consider fingering or dry humping in your dating relationship:

1. Purity is not just about keeping the hymen intact

Purity is not just about keeping the hymen intact. It is not doing everything but leaving out penetration.

Purity is way more than all that. It starts first from a heart posture.

A heart ready to enjoy deep physical intimacy only in the right confine as designed by God.

So, anything that looks too physical should be off the table till you walk down the aisle with your partner, which includes having dry humping or fingering.

2. You are trying to find an alternative for pleasure

The question is more like asking, “Since we should wait until marriage, how much can we get away with?”

And it is understandable, because of the physical  attraction that exists between you and your partner.

I really understand how hard it can be to hold up, but it is not impossible.

Trying to do everything close will eventually lead to doing it, eventually. This leads me to my next point.

3. You can’t just keep it at fingering or dry humping

It is easy to say, “We’ll just stop at doing this.” The more you break the boundaries, the farther you go.

If you had a boundary with your partner, and you eventually broke it.

If you keep engaging in the process, the desire would want you to take a step further.

If indeed, you are keen on keeping yourself till marriage, don’t indulge in it.

And these two activities are way too physically involved already.

4. The pleasure can keep you hooked

Intimate activities are for procreation and pleasure. The physiology and anatomy of private organs shows that they are for great pleasure. 

And if indeed God created this form of intimacy, that means He really wants us to enjoy it but in the right confines – marriage.

Engaging in these acts can be addictive and get you hooked on doing it because of the pleasure that comes from it.

And in the end, you might end up going all the way.

5. You don’t own each other’s body

You are not married to your partner yet.

You don’t own your partner’s body; neither do they own your body in any sense. 

So, till you both get married, you owe each other respect in that regard.

And that’s by not handling each other inappropriately. 

Until you are joined together in holy matrimony, don’t think you own their body and that you can satisfy each other.

Some dating couples don’t end up getting married due to reasons like genotype compatibility, toxicity, etc.

Imagine they both have had a lot of things, and been touched in ways that only their husbands or wife should.

Don’t give marriage privileges to a boyfriend or girlfriend. 

How to Stop Dry Humping or Fingering in a Christian Relationship

If you’ve been indulging in these acts and been trying to find a way to stop, these steps I am about to list will really be helpful to you.

  1. You and your dating partner should be repentant

You and your partner should be on the same page and be ready to have a change of mind on it. Be repentant, and ask God for forgiveness.

And that is simply what repentance is.

Simply having a change of heart towards something, and following in that line.

It is important that you both are repentant about it. If it is just one party, it might be a hard one. 

  1. Agree to reality

The reality is that you both have desires and are attracted towards each other. 

The reality is that you both will be tempted to do things because of this desire and attraction.

  1. Ask God for help

Since we have established the point I made earlier, it is only logical to know that it won’t be easy to pull this off on your own.

Your flesh desires and craves this pleasure.

You need God to strengthen and help you through the journey.

Now, it is important that you ask God for help on this matter. 

Speak to God from the depths of your hearts concerning the matter.

Let Him know how badly you want to really be intimate with your dating partner, and also how you would like to do His will. And that He should help you.

  1. Set physical boundaries

Now that you have sought God for help, make sure you are not putting fire under your bosom.

Create a list of boundaries that you know will not fuel your desire to do the things you don’t want to do.

Have you noticed that you engage in these acts anytime you visit each other?

You might probably need to heavily tone down seeing each other behind closed doors.

Observe what has been fueling these acts, and create a list of boundaries that can help you guys not indulge.

  1. Don’t be idle as a dating couple

Engage in activities together like praying, studying the word of God, playing games, taking walks, watching movies out, eating out, going on dates with another couple, etc.

These activities will substitute the idle time that could be available to engage in things you would not want.

  1. Take your personal relationship with God seriously

Ensure you are engaging and speaking with God daily through prayers, studying the word of God, fellowshipping with others, and also reading Christian books.

God is interested in you, and He wants to have an intimate and deep relationship with you.

Allow Him, by speaking with Him daily.

Doing all these will lessen and deaden the voice of the flesh, and make it easy to stand strong in the days of temptations.

  1. Get accountability if possible

If you can, inform your parents or pastors or spiritual mentors in order to keep you accountable. 

And it might also be your Christian friends.

This will be very helpful for both of you in the long run.

They will be intentional with keeping you in check.

And both of you knowing that there are people who will be keeping you in check, you will be careful in your dealings.

  1. Get married if you can

Now, this may sound weird. But just like Apostle Paul said, I will also say to you.

If you know that this person is for you, and you are ready to be married, get married. 

Instead of burning with desires, you can just get married since you actually can.

1 Corinthians 7:2 says, “nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have their own husband.”

Also, 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 says, “Now to the single people and the widows I say that it is fine if they remain unmarried like me; but if they can’t exercise self control, they should get married; because it is better to get married than to keep burning with desire.”

What If I am Married? Can I Finger or Dry-hump My Partner when Married?

Since you are both married, you both own each other’s bodies. 

If you both desire to do that while trying to spice things up in your marriage, I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with that. 

Enjoy your marriage, brothers and sisters!

Reason to Wait till Marriage as a Christian

I just feel the need to let you know why it is really important to wait till marriage. Here are reasons why you should wait till marriage:

1. Being intimate with someone means joining yourself with them

Being intimate with someone actually connotes or means becoming one body with them. Let us check 1 Corinthians 6:15-16.

“Don’t you know that anyone who is joined to someone who is sleeping around is one body with that person? The scripture says, “The two will become one flesh.”

2. Not waiting till marriage can blind or cloud your sense of judgment

Not waiting till  marriage can cloud your sense of judgment and blind your eyes to red flags that should be taken note of normally.

How to Stop Humping Your Pillow or Fingering Yourself 

The fact that you are interested in reading this shows how much you want out. 

Here are the things you should do:

1. Be honest with God

Pour out your heart to God in prayers. Let Him know your situation.

Speak to Him as if He’s beside you. Because He’s actually always with you, as His own.

2. Ask God for help 

Our human strength is very little. So, you must learn to rely on the strength of God.

Ask God for help. 

3. Take your relationship with God seriously.

If you are consistently fellowshipping with God (singing worship to Him, praying in tongues, praying in understanding, studying the Bible and fellowshipping with other Christians), you will have strength to say no in the face of temptation.

Besides this, as a believer, you should long to have a beautiful and consistent relationship with God your Father.

4. Speak to someone and get accountability

You should to speak to, it can be a pastor or a trusted Christian elder.

Let them pray for you and advise you, and also keep you accountable.

5. Be resolved to never go back 

Let your resolve to never go back be strong in the Lord.

As you can’t stand by your strength, show your resolve by improving your relationship with God.

6. Never watch or read or do things that can fuel the desires

Desires to do all these things are like fire, they can be fueled or quenched.

What you watch, read, discuss, think or even say can fuel these desires.

Be watchful and careful

7. Quote scriptures out loud in the face of temptation

This can seem weird but it is very potent.

When you’re faced with temptations, learn to quote scriptures out loud. 

Here are scriptures that you can quote:

Romans 6:2

“May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?”

Replace the “we” with your name. For me, it will be “May it never be! How shall Victor who died to sin still live in it?”

Galatians 5:24

“Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

Use your name as I explained earlier.

Galatians 2:20

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me”

Use your name as I explained earlier.

There’s power in the word of God. When you’re feeling tempted, be proactive and quote any of these verses out loud.

Is Dry Humping or Fingering a sin — Final words 

I hope you found answers to your questions about whether dry humping, getting fingered, or fingering is a sin.

The Lord continues to be with you. I’m looking forward to hearing from you in the comment section.

Here are other blog posts you can read from us

 

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Victor Loore
Victor Loore

Agalliao!

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Oreoluwa
Oreoluwa
8:18 am

This has really helped me a lot. Thank you and God bless you.

Carol
Carol
8:20 am

Is it mortal?

John Nuhu
John Nuhu
6:56 am

This has really helped me tremendously thanks so much.