My Christian Girlfriend is Not a Virgin [What to Do]

Did your Christian girlfriend just break the news to you that she is not a virgin? 

Or you asked her about her virginity, and she said she is no longer a virgin. 

And now, you’re feeling some sort of way or even worried because your Christian girlfriend is not a virgin. 

I will be sharing some things with you about this situation. Follow me through this blog post. 

Possible Reasons Why You Bother that Your Christian Girlfriend Is Not a Virgin

I know you are bothered because your Christian girlfriend is not a virgin, and there might be seemingly good reasons for that. 

And It’s important for you to know the reason why you are bothered, to move forward on this issue, and even enjoy the best in your relationship. 

1. You hate that your Christian girlfriend is not a virgin because you are still a virgin

You might feel entitled to being with and getting married to another virgin because you are a virgin.

This entitlement might be because of the societal construct, and it might be personal. 

Some men even want to marry virgins even though they are not virgins themselves. I think that’s really outrageous.

This should not be a thing one should be entitled to as if it’s salary. 

2. You hate that they’ve been with others in a way they’ve not been with you yet

You overthink how they have been with other people in oa way that they’ve not been with you, and you hate it. 

This bugs your mind and you find it hard to get it out of your mind, causing you to worry. 


I understand how the mind can want to play a fast one on you in this situation. 

But you must remind yourself that it was the past which you have no control over.

If she has decided to stay chaste, you should be glad as a believer that she’s willing to do it the proper way. 

3. You think she’s lose for losing her virginity outside of marriage

You think that she may have lived a very reckless life in the past, because of her loss of virginity.

That your partner already lost their virginity does not mean they were lose or had a reckless past. It does not necessarily mean that. 

4. You’re worried that you’re being deceived

I understand that you might think it’s almost impossible to be chaste after having losing virginity 

And you’re probably thinking about a lot of things. 

It’d hurt to know that you were deceived, but it should only hurt that you were deceived. 

You decided to do it the right way with your partner, and that should not be subject to change because of your partner.

Are Your Fears About Your Christian Girlfriend Not Being a Virgin Valid? 

I want to let you know that I understand your fears. This blog post is not to dismiss your fears and troubles. 

But then, you need to know the truth in this situation. So, let’s see the truth about this. 

Truths You Need to Know About Your Christian Girlfriend Not Being a Virgin

These are truths you need to know about this:


1. Her virginity is not a price for you.

You need to understand that a lady’s virginity is not kept as a dignity or price for a man, but for God and herself. 

The virginity of a lady is for the lady and God. There’s dignity in keeping virginity till marriage, but it doesn’t mean that a lady disvirgined is ripped of her dignity, especially one now in Christ. 

You must understand this, and value her regardless of the fact that she’s not a virgin 

2. It does not necessarily she’s lose or had a reckless past

It does not necessarily mean that she had a reckless past.

It’s not a stone set in place that Christian ladies who are not virgins had lived a really reckless life. 

Many might have lost their virginity by force, deceit, etc.

I’m And it might be that gladly lost it to someone they loved before Christ changed their values and principles. 

3. God transforms people

And even if it happened that they had an awful past. 

You need to know that people change, and God’s still in the business of transforming lives.

Also, it might be that they lost their virginity while being a believer, but if God’s forgiven them, that’s all the validation they need. 

Don’t stay sore about a matter that God himself has forgiven, and holds no record of. 


4. It doesn’t translate into her character

Her loss of virginity does not mean she’d have a bad character, or that she will treat you badly. 

There’s no rule that says Christian virgins will be better lovers, wives or mothers. 

5. It does not mean she can’t go on a purity journey with you in the relationship

I understand that it’s harder for people who have not been celibate in the past to stay celibate while being in another new relationship. 

To start with, it’s already hard for anyone who has been celibate from start but has h0rmones (which is everybody) to stay chaste till marriage

It’s another level hard if one was not celibate for  in the past. 

But it does not mean it is impossible — God’s strength by His Spirit is what’s upholding us all. 

My Christian Girlfriend is Not a Virgin [What to Do]

Now, here are my advice for you as a young man:

1. Are you convicted that you should be with her? 

See, you must know if God would have you be with her. 

If indeed you have prayed through, and you’re sure in your spirit that this is the woman for you, you must dispel your fears by trusting the Lord. 

If there are things you need to talk out and clarify with her, do it gently with the wisdom of God, without her making her feel bad. 

2. Do you love her? 

If you love, and you have decided to keep on loving her, you must love her the way she’s not a virgin.

And you must trust her too. There’s a huge relationship between love and trust. You should trust who you love. 

It’s not logical to not trust them. You’ve placed your heart in their hands, why would you do that if you do not trust? 

And once you get married, you’ve placed in your partner’s hands your life as a whole. 

So, why would you want to do that if you don’t trust this person? 

3. Look out for the fruit of repentance

You won’t have to bother about her past, because it will be evident that the Lord is working on her. 

You will see it visibly in her character and readiness for the will of God. 

You’ll be able to know the person who’s walking and working towards transformation by the grace of God, in repentance.

Be discerning. 

4. Understand that you are dealing with a human

Irrespective of all these, you must know that the person you’re dealing with is a human, and can make mistakes. 

It’s just a reality you must embrace. Just as you are human, and you’re prone to mistakes, your partner is, too. 

And even if they falter a number of times, they get back up still trusting the Lord to help them. 

You’ll be able to know if they are set in their ways, or if they have a heart panting for God. 

In all, be discerning. 

5. See her the way God sees her

You should see her as God sees her. If God keeps no record of her past, why should you worry and be bothered about that past? 

I know you are not God, but know and take that it is, that it was a thing of the past.

My Christian Girlfriend is Not a Virgin — Recap

I know it’s a hard one from when she dropped the bomb that she’s not a virgin, but is that enough to call it off? 

Is she indeed a believer, and can you see God working in her life? What about her character? 

Don’t just be blinded by the fact that she’s not a virgin anymore. Pray about this, and talk it out with God. 

And if you’d like to speak with me, I’m here for you.

Other blog posts you can check out:


Victor Loore
Victor Loore


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